Insomnia

Oh sleep! It is a gentle thing,
Beloved from pole to pole.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

Here I sit at Oh-butt thirty in the morning contemplating my life with a side of football. Why can't I sleep? Like so many insomniacs, I have a lot on my mind. Unemployment is a stress factor that has been compounded by the ballooning jobless numbers in my state. Last night at dark o'clock I saw a posting for a K-Mart job (a freaking K-Mart job!!) that went online at midnight. I saw the posting at 1:30am. Out of either gross curiosity or just plain desperation, I applied. I finished my application at 2:00 am, but I could not schedule an interview time because all 400 slots from now until December were already taken! 400 applicants in the middle of the night!!! Luckily, it looks like K-Mart is not in my future.

The other factor that is keeping me from the loveliness of deep, sound, normal sleep is football. For the past eight years I have been devoted to the one and only Portland women's team-the Shockwave. Now, there is a new team in town. I admit it, I was the first to see the craigslist ad inviting people to try out. At first I was outraged-how dare another team come compete for our hard-earned players and sponsors! So I wrote a fired up e-mail to my teammates hoping to get some fired up e-mails back. All I got was radio silence and one lone e-mail. So I did some assessing/soulsearching. (When soulsearching it's best to bring along a mental broom to clear out the memory cobwebs). My soul told me I wasn't having fun playing football anymore. I haven't been having fun playing football for some time now.

This realization shocked me. Not only was I about to leave a team that I had been devoted to for 8 years (my longest relationship) but I had been okay with just hanging in there and not having fun. Where's the fun in that? So, I left the Shockwave and am now a Fighting Filly. But why is this keeping me up in the middle of the night? Because I'm loyal. Because the Shockwave ownership took it personally. Because we have a million things to do to get the Fillies going strong and my mind is racing in overdrive because I get to be a part of it. My mind just won't shut down-and I secretly love it!

This blog is going to be about life and about football. For the last 8 years, football and life have been tied up all together for me. This is my chance to separate them, but at the same time, be a part of the beginning of something great. I need to find a job. I need to help out this new team. I need to avoid H1N1. I need to get in shape. All aspects of life plus football. Welcome to my journey. Enjoy the ride.